Pammy, darling.

There’s nothing wrong with aging gracefully.

There is everything wrong with a granny-faced woman wearing more makeup than a transvestite desperately clinging to her sex-goddess days that are long over.

Pam: stop pretending you’re still a bombshell, we know you’re a leather-skin granny face now. It’s OK.

Aging is a natural process, girlfriend!

xoxo

Margaux

Ashton Kutcher, fashionista? Well, Harper’s Bazaar may think so, as the magazine has given Kutcher the opportunity to write an advice article for couples who and their dressing struggles. Here are some blurbs from it:

On a man’s place in relation to a woman

“Your man should not upstage you. He’s there to highlight you.”

On complementing your man

“Guys don’t like to be told they look nice, pretty, or cute or that they clean up well. We want to feel dirty, rugged, and, most important, that you feel safe when you are in our company. So when your guy finally tries on something that you like, tell him that he looks like James Bond or Tony Montana”

On men’s importance in relation to clothes

“When it comes to getting dressed, men are a little bit more important than handbags but less important than shoes. At any rate, we are merely accessories.”

Look, I’m not a doctor. I do, however, practice non-licensed, amateur gynecology behind a Chinese buffet next to the freeway. It’s something of a hobby. Anyway, after reading his article, my experience qualifies me to make the following statement: Ashton Kutcher has a vagina. A giant, man-hating vagina that threatens our very existence. When it’s not too busy picking out handbags.

Ashton, you write like my 9 year old sister, if not worse. Please stick with mesh hats and pretending to be funny.

Ladies, Amy Winehouse is the perfect example of what not to do with yourself. In today’s lesson, it’s hair. I don’t know what is going on up there. I don’t know if there is some sort of living creature living up there. I don’t know if she stores her blow up there. But whatever it is, please don’t follow her lead. This is trash.

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