Pammy, darling.

There’s nothing wrong with aging gracefully.

There is everything wrong with a granny-faced woman wearing more makeup than a transvestite desperately clinging to her sex-goddess days that are long over.

Pam: stop pretending you’re still a bombshell, we know you’re a leather-skin granny face now. It’s OK.

Aging is a natural process, girlfriend!

xoxo

Margaux

She’s truly not that bad without makeup.

But, she looks more like your kid sister’s average-looking friend who lives next door.

Not a pop tartlet.

Oh, the wonders of makeup.

If I didn’t know any better, and you told me this was the same girl, I would call you a liar.

I kind of like this genre, more plain-faced celebs to follow.

xoxo

Margaux

Every few years, a designer will try to bring a really bad idea back and make it trendy.

These designers think that just because they are who they are that the trend will magically go from fugly to fierce.

Newsflash: even Mui Mui can’t save the socks/sandals combo.

The above look is admittedly not as bad as this:

But, socks and sandals are two words that should never be used in the same sentence.  Let alone on the same foot.

I understand that fake boobs look nice on bikini models.

But, every time I see fake boobs in real life I laugh at the girl with bags filled with goo sewn into her chest.

First of all, everyone can tell they’re fake and when people see you, all they will talk/think about you behind your back is how fake your boobs look.  I don’t care how nice, smart, or how great of a personality you have.  The only impression you’re making is that you’re someone who’s dumb enough to pay for fake boobs.  If you have them, don’t fool yourself into thinking yours “look real” or “are proportionate.”

Fake is fake.  And as I always say, with fashion, NEVER, EVER be someone who is caught with a fake!

And girlfriend, I’m like Anna Wintour let loose in a purse stand in Chinatown, I’m such a hawkish fake spotter!

Say no to faux!

That means purses, shoes, jewelry, boobs…everything!

No to faux!

Amy Winehouse made a surprise apperance at tonight’s Mercury Awards in London where she sang her new song “Love Is A Losing Game.”

You know… I never thought I would say this, but Winehouse actually looks better as a cracked out scratched up psycho (not to mention, easier to write about…) So what do you say Wino, how ’bout taking one for the team?

I don’t know what she is wearing, but it appears to be Gay Pride meets Rainbow Vomit. Yuck.

Beards, what are they good for? Absolutely nothing. Jack, please lose the beard. You look like someone has just thrown up on your face.

- B

I’m thinking of changing the name of this blog to "How Not to Look by Amy Winehouse." Most women I come in contact with on a daily basis would look really hot in a bra. This is not so true for Amy Winehouse. Here she is, welcoming this man at her home. Look at his face, you can tell he is doing everything within his power not to glance at her disgusting chest. Ew.

Thank you Beth Ditto for making it easier for all the bulimics in Hollywood to keep the weight off today.

Kirsten-

We are all very sorry you got robbed, but why on Earth do you look like this? It looks like someone beat you with an ugly stick, turned you into a man, and left you in a cave for two years. Please bring the old Kirsten back…

Best regards,

Everyone